“I felt like such an outcast.”
Australian man Lachlan Beaton, 34, has released a touching video about the struggles he experienced coming to terms with his sexuality.
"I felt like if I was to come out and tell people that I was sexually attracted to men that I would be disowned and people would stop loving me," he said.
"It made me feel like it was wrong. So for years I hated myself. I hated who I was."
Beaton's fear of rejection plunged him into a deep depression. He engaged in self destructive behaviour, and drank excessively to "numb the pain".
Hiding his sexuality from his family, especially his twin brother Charles, was very hard.
"That was probably one of the most tiring things that one person could ever have to do," he said. "Hide every move, every text message, because it felt like it was the wrong thing to do to be gay."
Beaton uses the video to call for marriage equality in Australia, saying the law makes young people feel like it's wrong to be gay.
"Whilst marriage is not allowed in Australia... people will feel like this," he said.
"People will hide, people will hate themselves. And trust me, you'll live with that hate for a long long time."
After years of private torment, Beaton came out at age 27. He was "very well accepted" by his family, he said.
He now lives in New York with his partner, Marcin.